Shiva Nata: the Dance of ShivaNot practicing: not the end of the world.
It happens. To everyone.
Look at the comments on pretty much any post, and someone is going to be talking about how long it’s been since …
And I want you to know that it’s fine.
Not doing is okay. Not starting is okay.
The only thing that’s not okay is the guilt.
I mean that.
What to do when you’re not practicing:
You remember that this is normal.
And then you talk to yourself about it.
You say this:
(or something like it)
- This is my guilt. It is not me.
- This guilt is a pattern.
- Patterns are not good or bad. They’re just information about what’s going on in my life.
- Yes, doing five minutes of Dance of Shiva would help me start untangling this pattern. But I don’t have to do it right this second.
- Whenever I practice, that will be the right time. The practice will wait for me.
Because you don’t want to be working the guilt.
That’s just using the idea of Shiva Nata to reinforce the old pattern (feeling crappy about yourself) … instead of using the actual practice to rewrite the pattern.
You know if you do the practice (and make it hard) that it will start making synaptic connections that will help you to understand why you’re not doing it.
But that does not have to happen right now. It just doesn’t.
And it doesn’t need to happen out of guilt.
You don’t need to shift this pattern right away. It’s much more about just paying attention to the fact that it’s showing up again.*
Which Dance of Shiva will help you do.
* For more help with deguiltifying, there are the recorded q&a calls that come with the Starter Kit, where I talk about this theme a lot.
It’s not you.
Whatever patterns you’re working on (even the ones that you don’t know you’re working on yet), they need you.
They need you to spend some time with them in a deguiltified way.
So it’s really, really important that you keep reminding yourself that you’re paying attention to them right now.
You’re paying attention to them by noticing when the guilt comes up. You’re paying attention to them by acknowledging your stuck. You’re paying attention to them by agreeing to take your time with this.
And then when you have five minutes for some disoriented flailing around, maybe you’ll end up doing it.
And whenever that happens, it’s a good thing. Even if it’s not right now.
Thank you for saying this, Havi.
I felt such a sense of ease, like my rib cage had opened up to let my heart beat and my lungs breathe, as I read this post.
You’re right. The practice WILL wait for me. It was around long before me and will be around long after. That’s comforting.
Whenever I do it, that will be the right time.
Good. I’m not going to do my five minutes of practice right now. And that’s OK. Maybe later. That’s OK too. Love the OK-ness that’s just swirling around me. Whee!
“You don’t need to shift this pattern right away. It’s much more about just paying attention to the fact that it’s showing up again.”
Brilliant.
This sentence, and the one about the Right Time being exactly when you’re ready for it, apply perfectly to the pattern I am working on right now. I have (had) been having so much trouble mobilizing myself after my full-time job (and often during). I don’t get out of bed in the morning, until the last possible second for me to make it to work on time. Since starting my Shiva Nata practice, I am much more calm about this pattern, and am no longer feeling guilty about it (well, it’s better than it was). I have faith that this pattern will begin shifting soon, but it does not have to be right now.
Thank you, Havi!
Thank you. (Although this gives me a strange creepy feeling that I am actually psychically screaming and someone can hear me. But I’m going to let that go.)
Love the bit about it’s using the *idea* of Shiva Nata to ge-stuck-ify us, rather than the practice itself.
Bit like remembering that your Inner Writer doesn’t know the difference between thinking about writing and writing.
I’m working on that one too…
Right – off for five minutes…
Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last blog ..Handling your feelings, their feelings, your feelings about their feelings
Twitter: spiralsongkat
@Andrew:
…your Inner Writer doesn’t know the difference between thinking about writing and writing.
Wait, what? Really? Wow! Thank you so much for that!
@Havi: It’s so wonderful, such a very potent comfort to have at least this one thing in my life that I have complete and utter permission to not beat myself up over when, whether, and how much I do it.
And, with that said (albeit a trifle clumsily), I’m off to do it now. Yay!
spiralsongkat´s last blog ..Blogging in the dark