Lynn- I’ve been working on freeing my voice for two years( at least) and after three days of Shiva Nata, I have this dream!!!

I live in New York. Any chance of a workshop coming my way during the coming months??

because everyone takes a different one, although many of them are shared, and sometimes they are inconvenient, but sometimes we want to get off, but eventually we will get to where we’re going, and the more anxious I am about going there, the less enjoyable my own personal bus ride is. or something.

for me, anyways.
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When I sat afterward, I got an image of something resembling a curly-furred hedgehog and a feeling of sadness. I was surprised, because it’s the first time I’ve had such a strong visualization. Anyway, after I sat with the feeling for a minute and shed a tear or two, the hedgehog told me it didn’t want to be smart anymore because being smart keeps people away and it’s lonely – like playing alone at recess. Yeah, that might make it tough for me to put in a lot of effort at school. So I got to cuddle the hedgehog and agree that loneliness stinks, and remind it that we get to hang out with all those cool, smart(!) people we know who show every evidence of liking us even though we enjoy reading. At that point, I think the hedgehog fell asleep.

One epiphany involved moving a wall in our house, which will solve some problems that have felt unsolvable, and the other was about why people adopt recognizable labels (like, for instance, depressive) to define themselves. I finally got that maybe the connection/community that comes with doing so can be comforting. I’d heard people say it before but never understood it myself. I still don’t *really* understand it, but it suddenly made more sense.

I also had some big thoughts about how the same way money is units for a limitless thing (call it abundance for lack of another less-overused word), time is also infinite but has units of measure that we all agree to trade (hours we sell for $, appointments we make, etc.), and maybe making friends with one small-unit-of-something-big could impact one’s relationship with the other. But that’s all still too fuzzy to put in the epiphany box.

Then I wondered about the throat chakra. Could there be something I need to clear up there?
First I needed to find out more about the chakra since I’m not that knowledgeable about any of them frankly.

Looked it up and found this:
“The negative archetype of the Throat Chakra is the Silent Child. This archetype holds onto its feelings and does not reveal its hurt, pain or anger openly. The Silent Child stays closed in order not to reveal its intense pain and sorrow, or its abuse.”

Oh boy…yes, there’s something about this that feels like I need to investigate. I did some further meditation to clear the chakra – imagining clear blue light energy going through my throat. This actually made the lump disappear. And while not a ‘direct’ epiphany, I now understand that I’ve been resisting letting my young self come through. There is sadness and anger and now I will make it my intention to talk to this child and see what comes up.

What do I need to know to dissolve the block I have around receiving money?

My answer (which I think I’ve heard before but never really listened to):

Look at your relationship with money.

Yes, I have heard this, but I realized that my relationship consists of feeling restricted (I’m poor and tired of it!) and guilty (my credit card statement says WHAT?!). I spend no quality time with money. My next question will be about how to do this.

Gooooo Shivanauts!

A jolt of recognition.

That is what my fear of conflict is too – and I thought it was the other thing. And since I also live on the other side – where someone in your life says every cruel thing that comes into their head when they are angry – and I know what it feels like to lie awake riddled with loathing and self-doubt after those things are said to you, it makes me even more fearful of not being able to control my own words and doing the same thing.

Will have to finish reading later .. my eyes are, ummmm, watery.
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Interesting to hear about your fear of conflict related epiphany. I have fear of conflict issues. Like, just a little. Don’t think what’s going on with you is what’s going on with me, but it is nonetheless interesting.

My Shivanautical epiphanies tend to be very… on topic. Recently discovered that if I work more on executing the moves precisely rather than trying to roughly hit the right spot, it has a deeper effect on my back and feels nice.

Not very shocking, I know. Ha!
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