Shiva Nata: the Dance of ShivaToo Terror-Struck to Fail (or flail)
Today’s guest post is from the fabulous Larisa Koehn who is @LarisaKoehn on Twitter.
I’ve been considering buying Havi’s Dance of Shiva Starter Kit for over a year now.
Yeah. Really.
Every time I consider it, all these voices pop up.
They say:
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But, you’re already working on your patterns.
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You already have tons of tools to help you through things, to help you gain awareness and insight.
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This is what your work is already all about. Why would you need this kit?
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You are already constantly processing stuff. You know what your patterns are, you know how to (and are) already working with them, interacting with them, learning and growing with them.
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How is this kit going to be any different from anything else you do? Or, even from the wacky animal-form line drills you do in you strange, unknown internal martial arts practice (xin yi) all the time?
That
gets you unstuck, gets you in your body, inspires you, helps you see patterns more clearly and re-wires your brain. Maybe that’s not how it’s marketed but that’s definitely what it does.
Here, a few voices, quieter than the first chime in:
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But, why wouldn’t you want something new and exciting in your toolbox?
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Especially something whose very purpose is to stimulate insight?
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Sure, you get that from your xin yi practice but that’s not ‘why’ you do xin yi. You do that because it is hard, it teaches you ‘relaxed suffering,’ it lets you do chicken and eagle and snake.
It’s more about a mindful workout than about generating epiphanies and interacting consciously with patterns.
Of course, the louder voices quickly muffle these quiet few:
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You’re already doing your thing. You’re already working through all the stuff, all the fear and stuck that keeps you small and quiet.
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Patterns are what you work with every day with your clients.
You help them become aware of how the patterns of tension in their bodies reflect patterns in their lives. You help them interact with themselves and their pain gently and kindly. How will this kit add anything to what you already know and practice?
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You’re already quite coordinated! (except for when I’m not, of course).
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You probably already know everything Havi has to say in the ebook. In fact, it’s all probably stuff you already tell your clients and that you want to write about yourself.
Only, Havi will have already said it (and said it much better than you ever could). So, as long as you don’t buy it, you are safe. Safe from Havi and everyone else out there thinking you are copying her work. It can’t be plagiarism if you haven’t read it!
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Do you really need to be like everyone else who reads Havi’s blog? Wouldn’t it be better to be unique? To do things differently from all the rest?<
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You don’t really have the money for this thing, you know.
The voices go on and on and on. It’s exhausting, really. They are all so loud and vehement.
For the past year, these voices have been eating at me.
Never fully heard, always congesting my thoughts. So, tonight, I am letting them out. I am letting them reign free.
Because, tonight, I have decided to actually decide.
Am I going to do this thing? If yes, a purchase will be made. If no, well… it’s obvious, I guess.
There is a middle ground. A middle ground of, not now but I will reconsider in… (a certain amount of time yet to be determined-most likely 6 months to a year).
I happen to know this approach works for me. I’ve used it before.
For instance, growing up and into my early 20s, I didn’t want to 1) get married or 2) have kids. However, I decided that when I turned 30, I would reconsider both.
I turned 30, I reconsidered and decided that maybe, someday, I do want to get married. Regarding kids, I decided to reconsider that again when I turn 34. :)
So, tonight’s the night.
Maybe.
Over the past week or so, as this decision has loomed over me, it’s become increasingly obvious to me that I am terrified to fail.
Which leads to unrealistic expectations of myself, which leads to very little ever being accomplished. Because, dammit, it’s not good enough. Ever.
Now, this is a very old pattern and one that I’m quite familiar with and, in many ways, is no longer so totally controlling my life.
Except that it is.
Here I am, confronted with a decision to make a purchase them may lead to a practice that is all about (wait for it)…. failing. And, yeah, I’m terrified. Again.
Now, for all you shivanauts out there, I’m sure this is old news.
For me, it was a shivanata (less) inspired moment of bing to see (yes, see) all the voices fade away. And standing there, all alone, was my old friend, Fear of Failure.
So, hello friend.
It’s (oddly) a relief to see you again.
Will you take my hand?
Will you flail with me?
Twitter: copylicious
What a beautiful post. Such a comfort to read. This isn’t old news at all. I’ll take your hand! Failing, flailing, let’s do this!
Kelly Parkinson´s last blog ..The end of the steam age
I went through something similar – I already work on patterns and do so from a “scientific” viewpoint.
I hope you reach a peaceful decision.
Rose´s last blog ..Visibility- Out of the Mist
Twitter: kimianak
I’ll take your hand too! Clearly, you’re already a shivanaut. I’d be delighted to flail and fail, and flail again, with you.
Twitter: elizabethhalt
This is beautiful. So comforting. None of us are really ever alone, are we.
And if you ever want someone to flail (I mean, practice) with, let me know. :)
Elizabeth´s last blog ..building a bridge of love
Twitter: larisakoehn
Hi everyone!
First, thank you Havi for so beautifully and graciously sharing your space with me today.
And, to everyone else, thank you, thank you for such a warm welcome. Really, I’m rather overwhelmed right now and (almost) at a loss for words.
My shivanata practice has been super secretive and intensely private up to this point and to know that there is this community of *you* out there willing to embrace me and my f(l)ailings is, well, wow. Just wow.
I’m a geyser of gratitude :) right now. Thank you!
Larisa´s last blog ..You Are Enough
If you want, you, me, your Fear of Failure, and my Desire to Reduce Everything I’ve Ever Done into Dichotomies (good/bad, right/wrong, brilliant/stupid, failure/success) can all go on a playdate and flail together! :)
Twitter: claireofttat
Coming from the other side (not yet a Shivanaut), I get the hesitation to plunge forth.
I’m intrigued but would like to know more about how it works. Brain stuff interests me–I read a fair amount about it–but I’m leery of phrases like “It uses movement patterns to generate new neural connections” without greater context.
Why are Shiva Nata’s movement patterns more effective for rewriting patterns than ballroom dancing, hopscotch, DDR, or some other flail-worthy pursuit? Have any books been written on the science of it? My library network has nothing and I didn’t see anything on Amazon.
I appreciate that it works for people, but I suppose I’m not convinced it would work for me or that it would be more effective than other current pursuits. I find science reassuring.
And now a simpler question, is all of Dance of Shiva performed standing? Sort of like karate or Tai Chi forms? I saw a yoga demo by Andrey Lappa on youtube that kinda freaked me out with his super strong pretzel bendy-ness. I can’t even do a proper downward dog.
Havi, I hope you don’t mind I posed my questions here, seemed a fitting post for them.
claire´s last blog ..Sketchbook- page 37
Twitter: yogiconomist
I really enjoyed this post.
Terrified of failing? I can relate! I think my DVD sat for six months before I got up the courage to use it.
Also, loved the part about middle ground. It is something I am constantly forgetting about. I so easily fall into the trap of believing that things are now or never – when they really can be now or later.
@claire Sometimes I do the arm movements while lying on the floor or reclined in my easy chair :)
Katie Hart´s last blog ..The Rahn Curve I Just Dont See it
Twitter: intuitivebridge
Wow.
So many of the things that I’ve done have been done against my will.
Intuition: so much kicking and the screaming
Having children: If it wasn’t for an accidental pregnancy, I’d still be wishy-washy. My oldest kid is 19.
Shiva Nata- I had such a big no to this. Such a big, this is weird and I’m good with my methods, and I have to what, now?
And my friends, Lilly and Maryellen were very encouraging, and a wee bit bossy and pokey. Do it. do it. do it.
So I tried it last night. I liked it. It gave me some insight. Some of my insights don’t even have words attached so that’s good.
Will is not bad, but it needs to be applied with more intention and insight in my life, me thinks.
Thanks for this, Larissa, and you’ll make a great mom.
Muah!
Bridget
Bridget´s last blog ..When is a penny not a penny or- how your intuition can make you the Benjamins
Twitter: bonafide_rarity
I just ordered my starter kit. I have been considering it for months but just took the plunge tonight.
Part of me wishes that there was a Shiva Nata instructor in Denver so I could do it with someone (if you know of anyone let me know!) but I ordered the video anyway.
The whole thing fascinates me and I am excited and nervous to try it!
Twitter: yogiconomist
@Tina I live in Boulder, CO and teach economics at Metro State in Denver. Perhaps we could get together sometime to Shiva Nata it up?
Katie Hart´s last blog ..A Love Letter to the New School Year