Shiva Nata: the Dance of Shiva
Ack! I’ll never be able to do this!
Oh, it’s Ask a Shivanaut time again … and this time it’s not one question but a hundred related ones.
It’s not even questions. It’s more like statements. Like:
Holy crap!
That looks way too hard for me to do. Like, ever.
I’m not very coordinated so I won’t be able to do that.
And I get it. It is intimidating. It does look ridiculously impossible. And — let’s be unpleasantly honest here — sometimes it’s even harder than it looks.
For a reason. For a good reason. But people don’t know that yet … and so it’s probably not really fair to scare them like that!
So maybe I shouldn’t be scaring you.
I’m starting to think that pretty soon the question will become “Why did you take down the demo video?”
Well, for one thing, because of this very phenomenon.
Amazing, smart, wonderful people are getting scared to even try learning Shiva Nata because it looks so hard.
And that is seriously tragic.
I actually had a conversation kind of about this the other day with the fabulous and wonderful Stacy Brice.
It wasn’t really a conversation because we were on Twitter, which severely limits your explaining power.
My response in three short twitterlets:
Hahaha! Oh my dear. You don’t START coordinated. It kicks your ass into BEING coordinated. But really it’s all about doing it wrong.
It’s a brain training technique that deconstructs patterns, so it actually helps you dissolve those frustration habits too. :)
Or I should say: the focus is NOT on getting it right, but on getting as lost and confused as possible! Wrong = success!
Man, I love Twitter. Because normally I would have had to write at least ten pages about how it’s supposed to be hard and how you’re supposed to do it wrong because that’s how you challenge your brain to make new neural connections.
But being forced to sum it up succinctly (if somewhat incoherently) was good practice for me.
And it made me realize something important.
I don’t want to scare anyone.
I want the people I love and adore (or don’t know yet, but will probably end up loving and adoring) to feel safe and supported working on their “stuff”.
But yes, be very scared.
Not about doing it wrong because of course you will do it wrong. No one has ever not done it wrong. I’ve taught workshops where all the participants were professional dancers, dance teachers and choreographers. And they do it wrong. Completely and gloriously wrong.
Be scared.
But not about how much you suck and how uncoordinated you are. The practice will take care of that for you. My teacher is the most phenomenally coordinated person I’ve ever met. But he didn’t start out that way. The dance did it for him.
Be scared.
But not about not being able to do it like me. Because I’ve been working on it for years. I’m the number two world expert, for crying out loud. You don’t need to be me. Be you. And yes, I still make mistakes. The only difference is that it’s gotten a little bit easier for me to welcome them.
Sometimes.
The real reason you should be shaking in your boots.
No, the reason you should be scared of the Dance of Shiva is that it will result in your recognizing things about yourself that are hard to know.
Your gifts. Your path (oh crap, I have a path?!).
Your ability to use your brain to access your strengths and to transform your weaknesses.
You might uncover weird intuitive abilities that could kind of freak you out. You might, like me, develop structural and analytical thinking capabilities that had never even been an option for you.
Whatever you are good at, you will get better at. And whatever you are not good at will start changing and shifting and becoming available to you.
If that doesn’t scare you, it should. Because this is powerful, transformational stuff that has totally messed with my head and my life. In only good ways. But still ……. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
Your potential is crazy, crazy stuff. Being able to access even slightly more of it? Good grief. Yes, we should all be terrified.
The good news. (There is good news, right?)
The good news is that change can also be slow and gentle. That’s one of the reasons I recommend doing no more than ten minutes a day.
And the good news is that the dance is smart enough to give you only what you can handle. One epiphany at a time, usually.
So take it slow. And do it with love. And journal. And rest. And be kind to yourself.
But don’t shy away from the practice because it looks too hard. It’s supposed to be too hard. That’s how it works.
That’s how you know you’re doing it right … if you’re flailing your arms and cursing and making a huge fool of yourself, you’re totally on the right track. I’d say more, but I need to go and make a complete mess of level 7.
Because even when you’re a wacky world expert, you’re still trying to get it wrong. Trust me, you will too.
Oh Havi, I am scared!! But also totally excited about the epiphanies. Mind you, I can’t help but think “I bet I won’t get any”. This is one of those patterns I have to deal with.
Thanks for this post. It’s late but I’m going to put that DVD in now just so I can at least say I’ve opened it and then go from there.
I heart you for doing this.
Twitter: havi
Oh Lynn! You are absolutely allowed to be scared! As you know. :)
And yeah, it’s also a pattern — and a completely normal one — to think that you’ll be the one person who won’t get any epiphanies.
I didn’t even know about the epiphanies and I was still suspicious and annoyed by pretty much every part of the practice.
Anyway, as long as you keep challenging yourself and doing the parts that are impossible for you to do, the epiphanies pretty much have to show up.
Yay for you for opening it. More than I did in the first few months! :)
Hi Havi
It’s posts like these that make me love you! I didn’t have a chance to comment on yesterday’s post, but this is exactly what I meant to say yesterday:
- maybe put a video up that shows you “making a mistake”. just so that people see how it works. when you make a mistake do you stop? do you take a break and have some tea? a nap? or you just take a breath and try again? that kinda thing
- maybe add an FAQ page with a bit of the history of the dance, who is the first kick-ass specialists on it and how you got involved in it?
posts like the one you have done today are so encouraging for all the scaredy procrastinators out there!!!
and no, i have not bought your starter kit yet, as for the moment i’m happy to be making mistakes during my shadow yoga practice! i’ll move on to different mistakes next year :)
take care
tatiana
Tatiana Franeys last blog post..just one more thing about procrastination…
Twitter: shannonmw
You know why I’m doing this? Because you just gave me permission to GET IT WRONG. My big pattern? Wanting to GET IT RIGHT. Okay, I’m sure that I’m not the only one with that pattern, but it keeps me from doing stuff I’d love to try, because I don’t want to GET IT WRONG.
I need a little more getting it wrong in a safe way in my life, so I can get comfortable with getting it wrong, or different, or not yet right, or whatever, in a big way in the world.
And I’m sure more. Even though I too, have a little niggling worry that maybe I’m the only one who won’t get it at all, WRONG or RIGHT.
Oh, and don’t take the video down. I love watching it. It’s so mesmerizing.
Don’t take down the video. But yes, yes, yes to a video about what to do when you make a mistake. I doing what I normally do when something doesn’t quite work the first time (keep going until I get it right or my body/brain says “we need a break”) but some idea of what it looks like for a newbie to have a go would be great.
In fact, darn it, I’m gonna post a vid of me getting it wrong. In a bit. After I get over how terrifying an idea that is. And I finally finish getting the blog software up and running with my first posts.
*deep breaths*
Wow… comments as useful as the post! First look at this site/blog, despite having crawled all over FluentSelf and kinda having the Starter Kit at the top of my “Merry Christmas to me” list… Love Tatiana’s idea about the ‘mistake’ clip — now I’ve got to go find the video under discussion, if it’s still here.
I knew you were busy, but MAN! Impressive use of the same 24 hours I (apparently) squander~!
That thing about being scared of becoming this phenomenally phenomenal person – right on the money here. I’ve been doing Shiva Nata for a few months, and every now and again I get this “What’s going on with me?! Am I allowed to be this phenomenally phenomenal person I’m apparently becoming?!” crazy scary feeling. And then I stop doing the dance. And then a few days later I get back on the routine with an “It’s all right to be phenomenal!” self-assuring pat on the back. Rinse and repeat every few weeks. The fun part? I’m beginning to recognise it as a pattern. As well as starting to notice my perfectionism yield bit by bit to a “Wow, I messed up? How cool is that! I wonder what happened there…” -attitude. Not with big responsible things (like driving), but with e.g. study assignments or social situations.
I love that you reminded me that it took you years because certainly ONE of the many patterns I’m seeing is feeling defeated that it is so hard.. and then I remind myself YOU ARE GETTING BENEFITS RIGHT NOW who the fuck cares where I get and by when?? Practice is beautiful.
Thanks for listening.
Jennifer Loudens last blog post..Comfort During Fearful Times: Acknowledgement Sweetie Baby Honey
Hi, Havi!
I’m very proud of myself so far. Because I practiced the positions while I waited for the DVD to come, and now I am putting the DVD in every morning/afternoon for about five minutes of practice (can’t do more than that or my arms start to hurt and feel heavy and tired).
I am so happy that the DVD spends more time in my DVD player than anywhere else!
I am also journalling my experiences to see what changes are occuring. Scary & exciting!
Thanks for listening.